Don’t treat me the way you’d like to be treated!

Understanding your audience is important for selling anything. Presentation skills training helps you do that.

Understanding your audience is important for selling anything. Presentation skills training helps you do that.












When we were young, our parents told us to treat each other in the way we would like to be treated. It made sense. In essence it was about being nice to each other.

But I don’t think that works well as adults. (We should still be nice to each other, but in a different way.)

I think it is much better to treat others the way they want to be treated. It’s about understanding their world, knowing what is going on in it and pitching your message, actions and behaviours according to it.

It’s about having an external focus rather than an internal one.

Many people have an internal focus. It’s most obvious in business presentations. We see it every day.

The next time you have someone pitch’s a product to you, ask yourself, “Where is their focus?”

It’s easy to work out.

If they start their pitch speaking about their company, their product, what it does, they have an internal focus and are focusing on themselves. If they start by speaking about you, they have an external focus and their focus is on you.

It’s a constant surprise that most sales people have an internal focus for sales presentations. The thought structure that drives their presentation goes somewhat like this:

  1. I’m here to sell something
  2. The client knows that
  3. The client has a need for what I’m selling
  4. They need to know all about it so they can make an informed decision.
  5. Therefore I’ll tell them all about it.

This is applying the ‘treat them in a way that you would like to be treated’ approach. It is assuming that you want what I want. It’s an internal focus rather than an external one.

It’s probably the most common approach to selling.

But it’s not what clients buy on. They buy on a range of issues – none of which are about the sales person.

Through the Sales Pitch Coaching program, I show clients how to structure their message so it taps into their client’s world. They structure their message so it hits the hot buttons as to why that client will buy. When they do this, they can sell to their client’s true needs and get away from a dollar conversation.

If your team are opening their pitches by speaking about their company or product, you know that it is time to change. It’s time to start having a conversation that the client wants to have.

Call me on +61 (0)422 670 659 or send me a return e-mail and I can arrange a program that will change the way your team sells and pitches for business.

Would love to hear your thought on this.




Posted in presentation skills, Presentation skills training, Presentation skills training Adelaide, Presentation skills training Brisbane, Presentation skills training Melbourne, Presentation skills training Sydney, psychology, psychology of communication, psychology of influence, psychology of leadership

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  • Guest

    I totally agree with your article. Not only does this make sense in Business, but also in Life in general. The need to be a chameleon is vital for success. Thank you Darren.

  • Craig Hadden

    Well said Darren. You’re right, the “self-centric” approach is so common – both in sales and in presenting at large.

    Mind you, that’s good for everyone who wants to stand out as being better than the rest!

    At work at the moment, in Training, I’m trying to get less content from subject-matter experts, because their content is conceived from an expert’s viewpoint, not a learner’s.

    For sales, some time ago I came across a 3-sentence model for framing the conversation from the listener’s viewpoint. I’d really welcome your thoughts on that.

    The later part of that post talks about using the word “you” a lot, too, which I’m a big fan of. Seemingly small changes in wording can have a huge impact on the focus of a talk or slideshow.

    I’m with you: Treating people as they want to be treated is the way to go, for sure!

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