Annoying Speaking Habits

November 12th, 2007

We have all encountered speakers that have annoying habits.  This could be the over use of “um, errs and Ahs”, the tendency to waffle on and on and on and on and on………or the speaker who simply does not get to the point.

…….And this does not just have to be a speaker on stage.  It can be someone in a meeting, a customer on a call……………..or even a sister (or brother!).

I’m compiling a list of these annoying habits so I can address advise skills to overcome them.  This means that you will never have others accusing you of having the annoying habit!

So please, let me know what they are…………….

Cheers

Darren Fleming

Australian Public Speaking Courses


Breaking the Rules of Public Speaking video

November 4th, 2007

I recently wrote about breaking the rules of Public Speaking.

Here is the video of my Speech in Fremantle, Australia on the rules of public Speaking and how we can break them and get away with it.

Cheers

Darren Fleming

Australia Public Speaking Courses

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4ZOPZvzG6o&rel=1]


The Eulogy

November 4th, 2007

One of the toughest gigs in public speaking is the eulogy.  It is something that no one likes to do, and if you are known for having some skills in public speaking, by default it will become your duty to deliver it.  I recently had the opportunity to help a very good friend prepare the eulogy for her father.  I thought that I would share some of the tips that helped her.  These are not just speaking tips that I have read, but tips I used when I delivered the eulogy for my father as well. 

  1. The Eulogy (like the funeral service) is for the living, not the deceased.  It is a way of public remembering your loved one and what they meant to you.
  2. Don’t be afraid to re-write history.  This does not mean that you turn the deceased into the saint they never were.  Rather, it means looking for the brighter things your loved one gave to you and others.  Shine the light on the best parts and remember them.
  3. Tell stories.  People will want to hear about the stories of your loved one and what they meant to you.  It is these stories that other will remember long after the service has ended.
  4. Have a support structure for delivering your eulogy.  This may mean having the speech written out with you, someone by your side, or someone prepped to take over should you become too emotional.
  5. Don’t be afraid to let the emotion show.
  6. Don’t be afraid to have a laugh.  At my fathers’ funeral, one of the speakers was Dads best mate.  He recounted many funny stories that we had never heard.  Even the officiating Minister was in fits of laughter.  The speech mirrored Dads’ life, and this helped us to remember him.
  7. Finally, take a recording of the day.  Have someone take photos and make an audio recording of the day.  This may sound macabre, but its not.  As with all major events in life, we want to look back and relive the emotions of the day.  A funeral is no different.

 Do you have any other suggestions for the Eulogy? 

Cheers 

Darren Fleming

Australian Public Speaking Courses

www.executivespeaking.com.au 


Election Communication

October 29th, 2007

With Australian Politics in Federal Election mode, I thought that it would be a good time to look at the communication style of our leaders John Howard and Kevin Rudd.

Firstly, I would like to say that I am not endorsing either side on this blog.  Rather, the entries here are to help voters see past the Politician to the message.  Further, these observations are made from my rare opportunities to see the leaders on the TV, or to hear the sound bites  on radio.

John Howard 

For the international readers, John Howard is our current Prime Minister, and has been in power for 11 years.

By all measures, John Howard is a great orator.  He has the ability to stand behind a lectern and deliver his message in a clear and concise way.  He rarely uses notes.  He is a confident speaker.  He has the ability to control his delivery in such a way as to engage us to listen.  He uses his rate of speaking, tone, and emotion in his voice to take control and keep control of a room.  He commands an awesome presence when speaking that tells us that we should listen and obey.  These skills have ensured that he has remained in control with no official threat to his position as the leader for 11 years.  Even during a recent party room challenge for his leadership, he was able to stare down any challengers.  He is a man who truly commands the lectern.

However, recently, there have been some chinks appearing in his armour.  During the “Great Debate” he seemed to become flustered when pressed on certain issues.  When Rudd put to him the points about Nuclear reactors, his speech became confused and he appeared to lose his train of thought.  He even went on to announce his own “education revolution” in his closing remarks – a point missed by the media! Today, when asked on radio, “Did Mr Turnbull ask you to sign up [to the Kyoto Protocol], Prime Minister?”, his response was, “We are not willing to be, look, I’m not talking about discussions inside the government. Forget it, you’re wasting your time asking me about that.”  This type of response is most out of character for Howard.

Kevin Rudd 

For the international readers, Kevin Rudd is the leader of the opposition party, and has been in the position just short of 12 months.

Rudd does not have the same commanding presence at the lectern as Howard.  However, this does not mean that he does not have the ability to match it with Howard.

Rudd is very controlled in his speech.  He does not lose his temper and is able to stick to his carefully developed responses as per the script. 

Rudd controls his presentations by speaking in a calm and constant manner that shows confidence and control.  When he is put on the spot, he bears his soul, and seems to say, “Well, what we have currently is not working.  Our plan is….”  This method of being open and honest (or at least appearing to be) is a strong way of building a connection with the audience.  He does not come across as the slick politician that has all the answers.  He espouses his vision and dream, and asks us to join him.  He does not have the same grumpy speech pattern that Beazley had, the arrogance of Latham nor the perpetual whingeing that Crean had.  This may be a factor as to why the electorate has taken to him so warmly!

As the election progresses, keep an eye on how their speaking styles change and give a glimpse into the pressures that both of the men are facing.

I’d be interested to get your thoughts on this. 

Cheers

Darren Fleming


What’s in it for Me???

October 4th, 2007

Have you ever stopped and wondered why people should listen to you when you speak?

Do people listen to you because they have too, because it is part of their job or because you will be able to sack them if they don’t.  Or do they listen to you because they want too?

You might ask, “What’s the difference if they listen?”  Well there is a big difference.  The difference relates to whether your audience will accept and internalise your message and adopt it as their own.  If they are listening because they want too, then there is a greater chance that they will adopt your message.

So how do you get them to want to listen to you? 

Well you need to find out what your WIIFM is.  Anyone who has ever been involved in selling will know that WIIFM stand for ‘What’s in it for me?’  It is the question a buyer will ask while they listen to the sales pitch.  If there is nothing in the sales pitch for them, they will not buy.  It is the same for any audience.  While they may not be able to physically move away from your presentation, mentally they will be elsewhere and your message will be lost.

Understanding this is important in so many situations.  It is not just public speaking.  Consider the e-mails that you send, the letters you write, and the ‘phone calls you make.  If the person at the other end of your message cannot see any value in your message, you may as well not send the message.

So remember, before starting to speak, write or present, ask yourself, “What is my WIIFM?”  Once you know that, your audience will start to want to listen to you!

 ‘Til next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming


Breaking the Rules of Public speaking

September 25th, 2007

Many people are of the opinion that there are a number of sacred rules in public speaking that should never be broken. You should never race through your speech, you should never hold the lectern and you should never turn your back on the audience.

I would like to challenge the validity of these rules.

I have been a Toastmaster for over 13 years, and have often pushed these rules on others. But I firmly believe that there comes a time when you must break the rules to reach the audience.

Case in point: The rule that you should never turn your back on the Audience while speaking.

At face value this seems like a good rule to follow as it helps you to engage the audience more.

However, it is possible to turn your back on the audience and engage them even more than when you are looking at them.

Recently I competed in the District 73 Toastmasters annual convention in Perth Australia. I was competing in the Table Topics competition final. About 2000 people from across Australia had competed in this impromptu speaking competition, and I was one of just 7 people left standing. In this competition, you are given the topic and expected to start speaking on it straight away. The only preparation time you have is while you are walking across the stage.

The topic we had was:

“If you obey all the rules, you miss out on half the fun.  Is this a good philosophy to live by?”

As I walked across the stage, I decided that I would break some rules myself. As I approached the centre of the stage, I turned and put my back to the audience and started speaking. I spoke about the rules that we should not break when speaking. The main rule was about keeping eye contact with your audience. I then proceeded to make fun of the rules about ensuring that you move across the stage so everyone sees you. Next was my favourite rule – the need to pause. I paused so long that even I forgot what I was going to say next. However, the audience laughed hearterly as I broke the rules that they all held so closely to themselves.

Whats more, when the judges returned their decision, I was the winner! From speaking to the others in the audience (and not just my friends!) I was a clear and unanimous winner.

So, it just goes to show, you don’t need to follow all the rules to achieve your objectives.

However, might I suggest that you have a good understanding of the rules of Public Speaking and know how they operate before you go out and break them. If you don’t understand the rule and how it operates, you may be doing your cause more harm than good it you decide to break the rules!

There is a copy of my presentation on YouTube.  It goes for 5 min and can be viewed here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4ZOPZvzG6o

Cheers

Darren


PowerPoint

September 24th, 2007

These days it seems that every business presentation you go to has to have a PowerPoint slide show.  While PowerPoint is a great presentation aid for delivering a message, if you’re not careful it will smother what you have to say.  PowerPoint should improve your message, and not become your message.  PowerPoint is about making it easier for your audience to understand and accept your message.  It’s  not about showing off how clever you can be.  Below are a few points to keep in mind when you next need to use PowerPoint.

  1. Should you use PowerPoint?  Not every message should be put into a PowerPoint presentation.  if you are considering using PowerPoint ask yourself if it will help your audience understand your message.  If it wont help, be different and don’t use it! 
  2. Don’t let the PowerPoint presentation be a substitute for knowing your message:  Don’t fall for the trick of reading the slides to deliver your message.  If you simply read your slides, your audience will read them too. They will read ahead of you and blank out what you are saying.
  3. Minimise visual distractions:  Everytime your audience sees movement on the screen they will look at it. If they are paying attention to the screen, they are not paying attention to you. 
  4. Just because PowerPoint can, does not mean that you should:  PowerPoint is fun to play with and can do some amazing things, but that does not mean that your audience wants to see it.  After they have seen the first slide fly in from the right, the heading type itself out and the bullet points twirl in from the distance they will become tried of it.  If your doing it to keep them entertained, can I suggest that you should look more closely at your content.
  5. Use contrasting backgrounds:  Make your background 1 solid colour and choose a font colour that can be easily seen against it.  If your audience has to struggle to see the text they will have trouble reading it.  If you make regular presentations to clients consider getting a professional template made.  Standard Microsoft templates stand out!
  6. Know and use the ‘B’ key:  When you no longer want the audience to see what is on the screen simply press the ‘B’ key and this will turn the screen black.  When there is nothing to look at, they audience will pay attention to you.  This is what you want. When you want to move to the next slide, simply press the space bar or click as you normally would.  The ‘W’ key has the same affect and turns the screen white.
  7. If you are going to use a laser pointer, have a reason to use it:  The reason you have a laser pointer is to point out specific things.  If you are using a pointer to simply point to the words that you are saying, what message are you giving about your audience?
  8. Moving from slide to slide is easier than it looks!  There are many ways to move forward with slides.  Pressing the left button on the mouse is the most obvious.  But did you know that the left and right arrows will move you around the slides too, as will the space bar.  If you want to go to a specific slide, simply type the number in and press the enter key and you will go there.  You can get a ton of other tips by pressing the ‘F1″ key!
  9. Never skip a slide!  If there are slides in your presentation that you don’t want to use, hide them from your presentation before you get up to speak.  If you are standing in front of the audience and you skip 2 slides, the audience will wonder what was on those slides and wont pay attention to what you are saying.  This will brake your connection with the audience and ruin your credibility.
  10. Limit the number of slides:  For those old enough to remember your aunties slide show of her trip to Europe you will know why you have to minimise the number of slides you use.  If you weren’t around in the 70’s and don’t know what a slide show is consider yourself lucky!
  11. Get to the point:  As with any type of presentation, you need to get to the point ASAP.  After all, time is in short supply these days.

PowerPoint is a great tool that can help you deliver your message.  Just don’t let it become your message.

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren


Room Layout Can Kill You

September 10th, 2007

I have recently been engaged to develop a training program for the Network Marketing industry.  This program will focus on overcoming objections, and how to avoid them in the first place.  You can get more details on it here – Communication in Network Marketing

As part of my research I attended a meeting of the local Tupperware bussiness.  The night was “The Boys Night In”.  All the male distrubitors had the opportunity let us know what it was like to be a male distributor in a female dominated industry.

In the first part of the evening, Steve cooked up some hamburger steaks and a potato salad.  This showed how easy the products were to use and to sell.  What a great way to sell product!

Unfortunately, neither Steve nor the managers of the venue had looked at the room to see how the props that he was going to use would be seen by the audience.  Unfortunately they couldn’t be seen!

Steve was cooking at a stove and working from a bench.  The platform that he was working on was slightly raised, but not high enough for people down the back of the room to be able to see what he was doing.  As a consequence, more than half the room could not see what was happening.  Initially people lifted their heads to see, but as the presentation wore on, more and more people just resorted to listening and not looking.  This made his props redundant.

So how could have this been avoided? 

The most obvious improvement would have been a mirror placed above the stove and bench that the audience could look at.  This would have shown us what he was doing.  However, this is a costly (but permenant!) solution.  An easier and more simple solution was to simply hold the props up for people to see.  By holding the slicers and dicers up we would have been able to see what was being used and have been able to receive the training that he was delivering.

So how was he to know this?  By simply sitting in our seats before the meeting and looking around to see what we were going to see.  This would have alerted him to the problem and he could have then taken steps to fix it.

The physical layout of the room can have a massive impact on the result of your presenation.  Sit in your audiences seat to see what they will see. If you don’t like it, chances are the audience wont either!

‘Til next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming


The 7 commandments of Public Speaking

September 2nd, 2007

In order to communicate effectively with anyone, there are a number of rules and conventions that should be followed.  Although I generally don’t like to be prescriptive, the points below offer a quick checklist for speakers.

  1. Know your reason for speaking:  Know what message you want to convey during your talk.  This will make preparation much easier;
  2. Know who your audience is, and what they want:  By understanding your audience, you will be able to tailor your message to meet their needs;
  3. Give your audience a reason to listen:  Find out what is important to your audience and use this as part of your presentation.  By knowing this your audience will pay attention to you so you can get your message across.
  4. Only speak to one person: Although this sounds counter intuitive, speaking to one person will bring the audience into what you have to say.  Whilst you see many people that you are speaking too, your audience only sees 1 person speaking to them.  Therefore, from their point of view, you are in a one-to-one speaking situation.  Speak as though you are in a one-to-one situation and the audience will think that you are talking directly to them!
  5. Tell a story and make a point:  People do not want to hear just the facts; they want to now what the facts mean.  So give them the stories behind the facts;
  6. Always leave them wanting more.  Don’t give everything away in your speech.  Always leave them wanting more so they want to follow you up.


Nervousness in Job interviews

September 2nd, 2007

 I am often asked for the secret for overcoming nervousness.  While there is no silver bullet that will cure nervousness, having a planned approach to any type of public speaking, or job interviews will help you control your nerves. 

Firstly, you need to be prepared.  There is no substitute for knowing your material.  If it is public speaking, you need to know what you are talking about.  If you don’t, then you will be distracted by the potential that the audience will know more than you. 

If you are in an interview, you need to know where you are going with your answers to the questions that you are asked.  If you don’t, the interviewers will pick it. 

You also need to realise that the audience does not want you to fail.  No interviewer wants the person in the chair to fail because they were too nervous.  It is a waste of everyone’s time.  In the same way, no audience listening to a speaker wants the speaker to fail.  So realise the audience and interviewer are on your side and want you to succeed. 

Finally, remember to breathe.  This may sound incredibly simple, but most people overlook it.  When breathing, use your whole lungs, and not just your chest; really get the diaphragm involved. 

Keep your breaths long and slow.  This will have the effect of slowing your whole body down, which will inturn slow your thoughts down.  When your thoughts slow down, you will remember what you want to say, and will be able to deliver it in the way that you need too.


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