Archive for the ‘nervousness’ Category

Permission to Speak

July 6th, 2008 |no comments

“I’m not very good at public Speaking, so please bare with me”

How often have you heard a speaker open with this line? Unfortunately it is all too common.

Why is it used?

People use this line as a fall back position, just in case they don’t meet the expectations they think the audience has. They use it to give themselves permission to give a presentation that is less than it could be. They use it so at the end of their presentation they can say, ‘I told you I was not very good at public speaking!’

This type of opening statement is the worst way you can open a presentation. Despite the speakers desire to use it to build a connection with the audience, it prepares the audience to feel sorry for the speaker, and draws their attention to any mistakes they may make. At best it makes the speaker look amateurish; at worst it make the speaker look foolish.

The speaker who opens with this type of line has not given them-self permission to shine. They have not given them-self permission to share their message with those that need it and they have not given them-self permission to have an impact with their audience. Is it any wonder that they don’t give a great presentation?

Before your next speaking event – even if it is just a team meeting – give yourself permission to deliver a great presentation. This does not have to be standing in-front of the room – it can be just from your seat. But give yourself the permission deliver your message in a way that makes a difference. Give yourself permission to share your message in a way that will make a difference to your audience. The benefit will be two fold. Firstly, this will reduce your nervousness amazingly. Once you have permission to perform nervousness will disappear.

Secondly, the audience will be able to benefit from your message. If you have been asked to present some information you obviously have something of value to share. By giving yourself permission to present it, your audience will benefit from your message … and when we speak, isn’t that what you are trying to achieve?

‘Thil next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming

Just Published Speak Motivate and Lead: How Real Leaders inspire others to follow


Speak Motivate and Lead

July 4th, 2008 |no comments

Do you want to know how to influence others at work? The you need this book.

How to influence in today’s work place. The

complete guide to speaking as the Real Leader

you are.

 

Learn how to speak to your boss, your staff and your clients so they listen,

understand and then take action on what you say.

 

If you are a Section Manager, Sales Manager, or Chief Executive Officer, connecting with your audience and getting your message across is often a challenge. This power-packed e-book is the answer you have been looking for.

 

Here is what the Head of Psychology Services for the Australian Olympic Team (1992, 1996, 2000) and Business Psychologist Graham Winter had to say:

 

“Darren Fleming has created a simple reference guide to the tricky task of getting your message across in a way that doesn’t just inform but actually engages the audience.  The many useful tips will make it a valuable tool for the busy manager and team leader.”

 

Graham Winter, Consultant Psychologist and Director, Graham Winter Consulting.

Head of Psychology Services, Australian Olympic Team (1992, 1996, 2000)

Author of Think One Team, High Performance Leadership and The Business Athlete

Adelaide, Australia

 

In this e-book you will learn:

  • The 5 rules of PowerPoint that must be followed so you don’t send your audience to sleep
  • The 7 rules for Presenting in Boardrooms
  • How to control your nervousness when speaking
  • How to make every person in your audience feel as though you are speaking directly with them
  • How you can make any topic interesting – even statistics training can be interesting!
  • How to use your stories to connect with every person in the room
  • And much, much, much more.

 

Click here to get instant access to Speak Motivate and Lead: How Real Leaders inspire others to follow.

  

“Don’t be deceived by this seemingly thin book (of 34 pages)! It compresses many nuggets of solid speaking advice that will take you years to find in other public speaking literature. No fluff and straight to the point! Oh, and you will feel really good about yourself because you finally get to read a book in one sitting!”

 

Eric Feng,

Public Speaking Coach and Author of The FAQ Book of Public Speaking

Singapore

After reading this e-book you will know how to:

  • Press your audiences’ ‘hot-buttons’
  • Construct your message so people will want to listen
  • How to get the right mental focus for your next sales presentation
  • Connect with your audience in the most powerful way possible
  • Put forward a different opinion and have others buy into it
  • How to use stories to connect with others

And all this for just $17!!!

Here is what other speaker and business leaders have said about Speak Motivate and Lead:

  

“Effective and persuasive communication made easy. An insightful guide to motivating by speaking – a must for people who deal with people”

 

John Tindall

MLC Australia

Sydney, Australia

Click here to get instant access to Speak Motivate and Lead: How Real Leaders inspire others to follow.

In Speak, Motivate, & Lead, Darren Fleming offers a quick but effective look at many areas of public speaking. He includes examples from his personal coaching and speaking, which are effectively mixed with mini-case studies.

He also offers concrete solutions and methods to many speaking situations, including impromptu speaking, handling boardroom meetings, and appropriately tackling humour.

 

A quick read, Speak, Motivate, & Lead is an excellent resource to keep nearby to refer to again and again.

 

Rich Hopkins

Speaker – Author – Coach

Judged in the Top 100 Speakers in the World by Toastmasters International 5 times since 2002. Author of Win Place and Show

www.richhopkinsspeaks.com

 

At just $17 it is a great investment in your career.

Click here to get instant access to Speak Motivate and Lead: How Real Leaders inspire others to follow.

  

If you have to stand before any group and motivate them to follow your directions, you need to speak as a real Leader. This e-book will show you how to do that.

 

“The information is concise yet detailed with great examples that illustrate the fundamentals in presentation skills.”

 

Palmo Carpino

Applied Communications Inc

Alberta Canada

OK! Get the e-book now!


The Focus of PowerPoint

April 18th, 2008 |3 comments

Yesterday I was in a three hour lecture where the speaker used a ppt presentation as the basis of her message.  As I watched her speak, I noticed that her attention was constantly being diverted between three places. The result of this was that she found it hard to concentrate on what she was saying.

Where was she focusing?

She was trying to focus on three places at once. She was focusing on the screen where the audience was looking. She was focusing on her computer to control her presentation. And finally she was focusing on us – the audience. The trouble is that when you divert your conscious attention to so many places all at once, you are unable to pay adequate attention to any of them.

As a result of her constantly changing her focus, she constantly had to change her thought patterns. Even though the changes were only slight, it was enough to distupt the flow.

Why does this happen? It is because of the way the brain is structured. Whilst all visual information is processed in the visual cortex, there are different parts of the visual cortex that process different types of visual information. By constantly changing visual inputs in such a disjointed and random matter, she had to re-establish her thought patterns after each change. This caused he to lose her place for an instant with annoying consequences.

What was the result? In 5 minutes I counted 64 ‘filler words’. These included the traditional ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’, but also she said, ‘I guess’ a lot. Now when you are a speaker – and speaking as an expert – telling your audience that you are ‘guessing’ is not good for your credibility.

At 64 filler words in 5 minutes, she spoke an extra 2304 words for the three hour presentation. That is about 15 minutes of speaking! That’s huge!

If she was able to place her attention on the audience and forget about looking at her computer and screen, she would have made a much stronger connection with her audience, reduced the number of filler words used, and been able to remember her presentation more clearly and concisely.

Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 


What the Dentist Taught Me About the Fear of Public Speaking

April 11th, 2008 |1 comment

As a public Speaking coach I don’t have the same fear of public Speaking that many people have, but this does not mean that I don’t know irrational fear. While I do get nervous before a major speaking gig, I do not suffer the anxiety that many people do. I suffer anxiety in other scary situations — namely visiting the dentist!

Nine months ago I broke a filling in one of my teeth. While it did not hurt it was uncomfortable and was hard to clean. Instead of going and getting it fixed I put it off hoping that the problem would somehow magically fix itself. Strangely enough it didn’t. So after 9 months of avoidance behaviour, this morning I had the tooth repair.

As I was lying in the chair, feet raised to the ceiling, I could feel my level of anxiety increase. The dentist had not even entered the room and I was feeling nervous. When the dentist arrived and took a look in my mouth, he calmly said, ‘Lets make you numb and fix it up.’ His calm words scared the life out of me. I started to squirm in the chair. My breathing became shallow and erratic. I closed my eyes to ensure that I did not see the massive needle that he was using. I had started to panic.

It was then that it dawned on me that this is how many people feel when they have to give a speech. So I started to control my breathing as I tell my clients to. After a minute or so, I was feeling much better. Then, as hte deentist was examining my other teeth, I started to realise that this was not so bad after all. No I do not like needles or the dentist, I realsied that the dentist was there for my benefit. He wasn’t passing judgement – he was just there as part of the process. He didn’t want me to have a broken filling or to need any other work. he wanted me to have healthy teeth, and set about me getting them.

As a nervous speaker, our relationship with the audience is pretty much the same as a nervous patient with his dentist. The audience wants to see us doing well. After all, they don’t want a presentation that is boring. And like the dentist, they understand that sometimes things go wrong. Despite your best efforts, sometimes you will lose your place when speaking, sometimes you will drop your notes or sometimes you will get the order messed up. In the same way that a dentist knows that despite your best efforts, sometimes you will need a filling, a clean or a broken filling replaced. That’s just a part of life!

So please don’t be so harsh on yourself if you are a nervous speaker. Everyone gets nervous or anxious in one situation or another. The trick is to realise that you can over come the fear and emerge the other side better for it. When you do you will be able experience the situation with less anxiety, and who knows, maybe even enjoy it one day.

‘Til next time

Darren Fleming

(with a great smile)

www.executivespeaking.com.au


Breathe Easy to Stop Nervousness

March 29th, 2008 |1 comment

Have you ever experienced any of these symptoms before you have to speak?

  • Dry mouth
  • Sweaty palms
  • Shaky hands
  • Knocking knees
  • Accelerated speech
  • Thinking at a million miles an hour, and
  • A desire for a nervous wee!

Well you are not alone! These are some of the many common symptoms of nervousness. Some of the more severe symptoms can include extreme reactions such as sleepless nights, hyperventilating before and during your speech, as well as being physically ill.

If you suffer some of the more mild symptoms, there is good news available. You can control these with breathing. If you suffer them more serious symptoms, these breathing skills will form part of an overall approach to controlling your nervousness.

To help control your nervousness, it is important to understand that what our body does is controlled by our brain. Even the involuntary responses that we have are controlled by our brain. Therefore if we can control our brain, we can control our body.

One of the best ways to slow the brain down (and therefore the rest of the body) is to focus on your breathing. When we are nervous we tend to breathe in short sharp breaths. This gets the oxygen in quickly, and this helps us become more agile (this is a throw back to the old flight or fight reflex).

To reduce your nervousness, breathe in 5 long, slow deeps breaths. Take about 5 seconds to breath in, and then just let the air run out of your lungs. Feel your shoulders drop down as the air leaves your lungs. Make sure that you fill your lungs as much as possible. Breathe right down from the diaphragm, and make sure you fill you shoulders as well. It is amazing how much air you can fit in when you straighten your back and fill the top of your lungs.

By following this simple technique, you will find your nervousness subsiding. Just remember to not breathe too quickly as you may hyperventilate! Also, if you breathe in too quickly you will not get the relaxing and calming affects of the breathing.

‘Til next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 

https://executivespeaking.com.au/

 


Perfect PowerPoint

March 26th, 2008 |3 comments

PowerPoint has become the modern tool of today’s corporate trainer. PowerPoint can be a great tool when used properly and the following tips will help you with it!

  1. Before you start presenting, ask if you really need PowerPoint. Did you know that before PowerPoint (and Freelance etc) came along, trainers and speakers spoke without it! If they needed a visual aid they used Over-head projectors or white boards. Sometimes they used nothing. There is no rule saying that you have to use PowerPoint! At your next conference, shock you audience by speaking without PowerPoint! That will certainly get their attention.
  2. What are you putting on your slides? PowerPoint works best with pictures, diagrams and data intensive information that cannot be easily explained with words alone. By keeping the text to a minimum you will be able to keep the focus on you and your message.
  3. Follow the 10/20/30 rule. No more than 10 slides for a 20 minute presentation (that’s 2 minutes per slide) and no smaller than 30 font for the text. Yes, that is big text! This forces you to simplify your slides!
  4. Handouts – Ideally your handouts SHOULD NOT BE your presentation slides. Consider having three sets of notes/slides:
    1. Audience slides – these are the slides that the audience sees. Keep them simple and relevant. Also avoid over doing the text.
    2. Your notes – these are the notes that you have to look at. They should have enough detail for you to remember what to say.
    3. Audience handouts – If you choose to have audience handouts, there is nothing to say that they have to look like the slides on the screen. In fact, there is a great argument that says that your notes should be much more detailed than the notes on the screen. After all, the notes are to re-enforce and also EXPAND on what you spoke about.
  5. Another way to interact with your audience is to give them electronic notes. Send them a link to your website/database/data warehouse where they can get notes. This will save a heap of printing, time wasting and save your notes going into the bin by those that only took the notes because they were there. If you are an external speaker/trainer, you can direct people to your website or blog to show your other products/services!
  6. Remember that your goal as a speaker at a conference or a training session or a team meeting is to engage and connect with your audience. If you can achieve this without PowerPoint then FANTASTIC!

Til next time

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 

https://executivespeaking.com.au


Who is Frightened of Obamas Speaking Skills?

March 5th, 2008 |1 comment

Election time brings out the most unusual of campaign tactics. If your opposition is not bring skeletons out of the closet, they are trying to plant some in there.

But the current battle between Hillary and Obama seems to have found another angle to attack. Hillary is attacking Obamas strength. She is attacking his ability to stand and deliver a strong message that the people want to hear.

It is clear that Obama has great public speaking skills, and this (in part) has hurt Hillary. But why should this be seen as a target for attack? If he had great economic skills, or great military skills, would they be attacking him for that?

There is a clear reason why they have attacked Obamas great public speaking skills, and it is this: Great speakers are seen as great leaders. If you can stand at the front of the room and speak, you are automatically seen as a leader. Why? It’s because no-one else wants to stand up and speak. If you can confidently stand there, speak with composure and enunciate a clear message, you will automatically be seen as someone to follow. This is why the Hillary camp is so afraid of his speaking skills; they know that he is a better speaker than she is, and therefore more attractive to the swinging voters.

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming – Australia’s public Speaking Coach

https://executivespeaking.com.au


What are You Thinking … Before You Stand to Speak?

February 21st, 2008 |no comments

What are you thinking in the moments before you open you mouth to speak? You could be presenting at a team meeting , speaking to a client on the phone, or addressing an audience of 100+ people?

The thoughts that you have just before you go up will have a massive impact on how you perform.

Many inexperienced speakers focus on how nervous they are, and say to themselves, ‘I hope I don’t forget what I have to say’, or, ‘I hope I don’t stuff this up’. With thoughts like this in their head is it any wonder they are nervous?

When I speak in competitions – or any high-pressure environment – I adopt a different mindset. I say to myself, ‘This is what I do!’ and start to revel in the opportunity to speak. This gets me to focus on the strengths that I have and forget about my weaknesses. Granted I may like speaking more than most, but you can adopt this same attitude too.

You may not want to focus on the fact that you are speaking, but rather on the great ideas that you can share with your audience. Focus on how much better off they will be after you have spoken. Will they have an easier job , a better understanding of what is happening or renewed enthusiasm for the project they are involved in.

In the same way that an Olympic athlete focuses on their strengths before they perform, you too can focus on your strengths before you perform.

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 


Darren Fleming and Executive Speaking

February 10th, 2008 |1 comment

If you’re looking to improve your presentation and communication skills, you need someone who has spoken to large audiences, can show you how to use humour and can give you the skills to think on your feet.

Darren Fleming from Executive Speaking can teach you the skills that you are after.

Are you WOWing your Audience?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaSRNaLZT4o&rel=1]
Get these skills from

http://www.ExecutiveSpeaking.com.au


Controling Your Thoughts When Speaking

February 6th, 2008 |no comments

Thinking clearly whilst presenting is essential to ensuring your message is delivered in a powerful way.

Your thoughts can be side-tracked by many things and having a plan to counter these challenges is essential. 

First of all, it is important to realise that our thoughts wander all the time. This is caused by our brain working much faster than any other part of our body, including our mouth!  To allow our mouth to ‘catch up’ to our brain, the brain has to temporarily stop its train–of–thought. When this train–of–thought stops, another thought has to take its place. This could be anything from, ‘What will I have for dinner tonight?’ to, ‘What does the audience think of me?’  When the mouth does ‘catch up’ with the brain, the brain is often on another line of thought and has to get back to where it was.  It is the inability to get back to where your thoughts were that causes people to lose their spot.  

This is also why concentrating for extended periods of time is so exhausting; the brain has not had its usual rests! 

What Hinders the Return?

There are many elements that stop your thoughts from getting back on track whilst speaking. These include:

  • subject knowledge
  • amount of preparation
  • nervousness
  • expectations for your self
  • expectations of your audience
  • what you think your audience wants
  • subject knowledge
  • room factors – temperature, noise etc
  • what is riding on your presentation and
  • many others.

These elements combine to distract your thoughts when speaking, and the more salient the element, the more influential it is.   

The distracting elements can have either a positive or negative influence on your thoughts. For example, the more nervous you are, the more difficult it may be to return to your original train–of–thought, but having greater knowledge of your topic, you are more likely to return to the desired thought. Each of these elements will work in different ways for different presentations and different audiences. 

But there is some good news!  Thinking is like any skill or behaviour. The more you practice it, the better you will become. Therefore, the more speaking you do, the more likely you will be to return to the desired thought! 

    

‘Til next time.

 

Cheers

 

Darren Fleming

https://executivespeaking.com.au


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