Posts Tagged "public speaking"

Origins of Fear

Public speaking is a fear of many people. They let nervousness take control of their mind and body, and their message is lost. Knowing what is causing the fear is key to addressing it.

The three areas that cause nervousness are:

  • Self – the pressure we put on ourselves to perform
  • Situation – what is riding on the presentation
  • Someone else – the pressure your colleagues put on you to perform

Managing your nervousness is about managing different areas:

  • For the self, it’s about managing the physiology and psychology.
  • For the situation, it’s about managing expectations of yourself and others.
  • For the someone else, it’s about managing the relationship.

Identifying what is causing your nervousness is key to providing the right solution to the problem.

As always, I would love your thoughts on this, leave a comment below in the comments section.


Inflection Points – Presentation Skills

Many good leaders weaken their message by the way they deliver it. They write a strong sentence which they deliver a tentative message. The biggest culprit in this is the inflection they place at the end of the sentence. Do they finish their sentence with their voice going up, down or no change at all?


Inflection Points

  • An upward inflection is tentative – it’s asking a question.
  • No inflection is a statement – just giving information.
  • A downward inflection is a command – telling someone what to do.

If you constantly have an upward inflection, it will tell your audience you are not sure of your message. If you use a downward inflection too often you can be seen as bossy.

A powerful combination is to ask a question with a downward inflection. This gives the politeness of asking a question with the subtle command of ‘just do it.’

As always, I would love your thoughts on this, leave a comment in the comment section below.


Your Look

Influencing your audience, customers or staff, is as much about how you look, as well as what you are saying. If your look is not congruent, then people will pick up on it. They may not know what it is, but they will detect something.

Body language is the first thing that we notice in a speaker. We unconsciously ask questions such as:

  • How are they carrying themselves – are they confident or are they nervous?
  • How much are they fidgeting – a lot, or not at all?
  • Are they looking at the audience or the floor, at the ceiling or out the window?

We ask these and many other questions to gauge how confident the speaker is. If a speaker is not looking at the audience, it is easy to assume that they are lacking confidence or don’t want to be there. If the speaker is fidgeting, it is fair to say that, they are uncomfortable, and would rather be somewhere else.

Controlling the way you come across is about awareness. Pay attention to what you are doing in everyday situations. Do you fidget while sitting at your desk, are your legs always bouncing or are you always twirling a pen in your fingers?

These are signs of fidgeting.

While they may not be a problem at your desk, related fidgets will emerge when you are on stage. This creates the impression that you are nervous.

When you are speaking to influence an audience these small signals will reduce your positioning as a leader in the eyes of your audience. This reduces their desire to follow your message.

As always, I would love your thoughts on this, leave a comment in the comment section below.


Keep it Real

One of the reasons we have meetings is to look people in the eye, and see if we trust them. We get to turn our BS detector on, and assess everything about the person who is speaking. We look to see if they are fidgeting, sound confident or make sense.

We may not be able to put our finger on exact behaviours, but if something doesn’t look right we will spot it.

The three areas we focus on are your looks, how you sound and the words you use.

_Authenticity

For the Look it’s all about:

  • How you carry yourself – are you confident?
  • Fidgeting – shows level of control
  • Gaze – looking people in the eye or out the window

For sound it’s about:

  • Volume – can we hear you?
  • Speed – shows nervousness
  • Inflection – confidence in message

For words it’s about:

  • Answering the question – not avoiding the topic
  • Sticking to set lines – we can all spot them
  • Adapting message – changing your message when evidence suggests you should

If you want to be more influential when you speak, pay attention to how these elements come across in your message.

Would love your thoughts on this, leave a message below in the comment section.


Own Your Awesomeness

Many experts reduce their ability to influence by deferring to others. They don’t own what they know, and why they know it. This deferring is subtle but has a massive impact on your ability to influence.

It’s a function of the university idea of standing on the shoulders of giants. While it is important to reference where your material comes from, the way you reference can have a massive impact on your positioning.

I was working with a commodities trader to help him deliver his message one-on-one with clients. In part of his presentation, he said, “BHP tells us that in the next twelve months, China will use more steel than the USA has used over the last 100 years. You need to invest in iron ore.”

This is a strong statement on the value of his argument. But it’s not as strong as it could be. The reason for this is he is riding on the coattails of BHP. BHP is the entity with the knowledge and he is repeating it.

To make it more powerful, we re-structured his message. We changed it to, “In the next twelve months, China will use more steel than the USA has over the last 100 years”. This positioned him as the source of the information. Should he be challenged on where that information comes from, he said, “BHP tells us that.”

The difference between the two statements is subtle but powerful. In the first statement, my client was repeating the knowledge others had given him. In the second, BHP was supporting his argument. This is what his end clients wanted.

Would love your thoughts on this, and how you can use it to influence others.


Public Speaking – Stand Strong

Public Speaking – The Strength of Your Stance Shows the Strength of Your Message

One of the easy public speaking tips I share with my clients gives them an amazing amount of strength when speaking. In this 90 second video I show you how you too can use it.

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Overcoming Nervousness: How to Control the Physiological Reaction of Fight-or-Flight When Speaking

Overcoming Nervousness

Preparation can help you take flight when speaking in public.

Even the most seasoned business executives get nervous.

Many people get nervous at the prospect of speaking in front of a large audience. They tense up. Some lie awake for nights before dreading the moment when we step in front of the crowd.

For a brand new leader in business, facing the challenges of public speaking for the first time, the nerves might seem overwhelming.

Are Nerves Psychological?

Nerves might seem like a strictly psychological problem, but it doesn’t stop there.

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The Social Proof Secrets That Can Grow Your Business

Social Proof

In every training session I conduct, there is an interesting phenomenon that appears at morning tea. After a high energy, high interactive session, I announce the break for morning tea. People can get up, talk and get something to eat. But often they don’t…well not straight away. The participants look to each other to see who will make the first move. When one person moves, the rest take off. This is social proof. The first person to move has sent a signal to the others that it’s socially appropriate to move. The others then follow, feeling more comfortable that someone else took the initial risk.

This is a deep psychological process that marketers and leaders have been using for centuries.

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What are You Saying?

There are 3 meanings that can be attributed to any message. The meanings change depending on our thoughts.

The fist meaning is the meaning that you attribute to the message. eg ‘Can you come here when you get a chance’ to you means ‘Can you come here now’

The second meaning is the meaning that the other person hears. eg. ‘Can you come here when you get a chance’ to them means, ‘No hurry, but I want to show you something if you want to see it’

The final meaning is the literal interpretation. ‘Can you come here when you get a chance’ means ‘You decide if you want to come and when you want to come.’

Next time someone misunderstands your message, or does not do what you want them to do, consider if they got the message as you intended them too.


Productive Team Meetings

Love ’em or hate ’em, meetings are part of our working life. As a leader in meetings, there are a few techniques that you can use to draw people into the meeting and get them contributing. This makes the meeting more productive as everyone is contributing and quicker as you are not sitting around waiting for someone to volunteer the information you are after.

So in your next meeting (which will probably be later today) try some of these techniques:

  • Where possible, avoid meetings straight after lunch. People naturally become sleepy after lunch. Meeting when our bodies are wanting to sleep does not bode well for interaction.
  • Speak to one and address many. This is an amazingly simple technique that will bring people into what you are saying. How do you do this? Simply use the word ‘you’ when possible. For example, instead of asking, “Does anyone have any questions about the sales budget’, ask, “Do you have any questions about the sales budget’. The difference is subtle but important. When you ask the first question, people in the meeting think, “He is not speaking to me so I can try and “hide here in the silence.” However, when you ask the second question the thought pattern is, “He is talking to me. What are my questions?” This is the reaction you want.
  • Give directions with confidence. If you have ever taught children, you will know that children can smell fear in a teacher, and will exploit it to their advantage. The same is true with adults. Whilst we will generally not play up to the level of children, if the directions you give are weak and ambiguous, people will not follow them with the same conviction as they would if you gave clear and strong directions.
  • Get their feedback properly. Feedback is often sought by asking, “Are there any comments or thoughts about the new sales plan?” This is general and consequently vague. Instead, ask, “How can you implement this new sales plan with your current customers?” Once again, this is focused on 1 person, but also on how they will use what they have just learned. They will instantly start thinking of how they will use what they have just learned.
  • If you want a quick meeting, remove all the chairs from the meeting room before hand. If people are standing up, they will be less inclined to waste time

How will you use these techniques in your next meeting? Please let me know below.

Happy meetings!

Cheers

Darren Fleming

Australian Public Speaking Training


0422 670 659

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