Archive for the ‘public speaking’ Category

What the Dentist Taught Me About the Fear of Public Speaking

April 11th, 2008 |1 comment

As a public Speaking coach I don’t have the same fear of public Speaking that many people have, but this does not mean that I don’t know irrational fear. While I do get nervous before a major speaking gig, I do not suffer the anxiety that many people do. I suffer anxiety in other scary situations — namely visiting the dentist!

Nine months ago I broke a filling in one of my teeth. While it did not hurt it was uncomfortable and was hard to clean. Instead of going and getting it fixed I put it off hoping that the problem would somehow magically fix itself. Strangely enough it didn’t. So after 9 months of avoidance behaviour, this morning I had the tooth repair.

As I was lying in the chair, feet raised to the ceiling, I could feel my level of anxiety increase. The dentist had not even entered the room and I was feeling nervous. When the dentist arrived and took a look in my mouth, he calmly said, ‘Lets make you numb and fix it up.’ His calm words scared the life out of me. I started to squirm in the chair. My breathing became shallow and erratic. I closed my eyes to ensure that I did not see the massive needle that he was using. I had started to panic.

It was then that it dawned on me that this is how many people feel when they have to give a speech. So I started to control my breathing as I tell my clients to. After a minute or so, I was feeling much better. Then, as hte deentist was examining my other teeth, I started to realise that this was not so bad after all. No I do not like needles or the dentist, I realsied that the dentist was there for my benefit. He wasn’t passing judgement – he was just there as part of the process. He didn’t want me to have a broken filling or to need any other work. he wanted me to have healthy teeth, and set about me getting them.

As a nervous speaker, our relationship with the audience is pretty much the same as a nervous patient with his dentist. The audience wants to see us doing well. After all, they don’t want a presentation that is boring. And like the dentist, they understand that sometimes things go wrong. Despite your best efforts, sometimes you will lose your place when speaking, sometimes you will drop your notes or sometimes you will get the order messed up. In the same way that a dentist knows that despite your best efforts, sometimes you will need a filling, a clean or a broken filling replaced. That’s just a part of life!

So please don’t be so harsh on yourself if you are a nervous speaker. Everyone gets nervous or anxious in one situation or another. The trick is to realise that you can over come the fear and emerge the other side better for it. When you do you will be able experience the situation with less anxiety, and who knows, maybe even enjoy it one day.

‘Til next time

Darren Fleming

(with a great smile)

www.executivespeaking.com.au


Breathe Easy to Stop Nervousness

March 29th, 2008 |1 comment

Have you ever experienced any of these symptoms before you have to speak?

  • Dry mouth
  • Sweaty palms
  • Shaky hands
  • Knocking knees
  • Accelerated speech
  • Thinking at a million miles an hour, and
  • A desire for a nervous wee!

Well you are not alone! These are some of the many common symptoms of nervousness. Some of the more severe symptoms can include extreme reactions such as sleepless nights, hyperventilating before and during your speech, as well as being physically ill.

If you suffer some of the more mild symptoms, there is good news available. You can control these with breathing. If you suffer them more serious symptoms, these breathing skills will form part of an overall approach to controlling your nervousness.

To help control your nervousness, it is important to understand that what our body does is controlled by our brain. Even the involuntary responses that we have are controlled by our brain. Therefore if we can control our brain, we can control our body.

One of the best ways to slow the brain down (and therefore the rest of the body) is to focus on your breathing. When we are nervous we tend to breathe in short sharp breaths. This gets the oxygen in quickly, and this helps us become more agile (this is a throw back to the old flight or fight reflex).

To reduce your nervousness, breathe in 5 long, slow deeps breaths. Take about 5 seconds to breath in, and then just let the air run out of your lungs. Feel your shoulders drop down as the air leaves your lungs. Make sure that you fill your lungs as much as possible. Breathe right down from the diaphragm, and make sure you fill you shoulders as well. It is amazing how much air you can fit in when you straighten your back and fill the top of your lungs.

By following this simple technique, you will find your nervousness subsiding. Just remember to not breathe too quickly as you may hyperventilate! Also, if you breathe in too quickly you will not get the relaxing and calming affects of the breathing.

‘Til next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 

https://executivespeaking.com.au/

 


Perfect PowerPoint

March 26th, 2008 |3 comments

PowerPoint has become the modern tool of today’s corporate trainer. PowerPoint can be a great tool when used properly and the following tips will help you with it!

  1. Before you start presenting, ask if you really need PowerPoint. Did you know that before PowerPoint (and Freelance etc) came along, trainers and speakers spoke without it! If they needed a visual aid they used Over-head projectors or white boards. Sometimes they used nothing. There is no rule saying that you have to use PowerPoint! At your next conference, shock you audience by speaking without PowerPoint! That will certainly get their attention.
  2. What are you putting on your slides? PowerPoint works best with pictures, diagrams and data intensive information that cannot be easily explained with words alone. By keeping the text to a minimum you will be able to keep the focus on you and your message.
  3. Follow the 10/20/30 rule. No more than 10 slides for a 20 minute presentation (that’s 2 minutes per slide) and no smaller than 30 font for the text. Yes, that is big text! This forces you to simplify your slides!
  4. Handouts – Ideally your handouts SHOULD NOT BE your presentation slides. Consider having three sets of notes/slides:
    1. Audience slides – these are the slides that the audience sees. Keep them simple and relevant. Also avoid over doing the text.
    2. Your notes – these are the notes that you have to look at. They should have enough detail for you to remember what to say.
    3. Audience handouts – If you choose to have audience handouts, there is nothing to say that they have to look like the slides on the screen. In fact, there is a great argument that says that your notes should be much more detailed than the notes on the screen. After all, the notes are to re-enforce and also EXPAND on what you spoke about.
  5. Another way to interact with your audience is to give them electronic notes. Send them a link to your website/database/data warehouse where they can get notes. This will save a heap of printing, time wasting and save your notes going into the bin by those that only took the notes because they were there. If you are an external speaker/trainer, you can direct people to your website or blog to show your other products/services!
  6. Remember that your goal as a speaker at a conference or a training session or a team meeting is to engage and connect with your audience. If you can achieve this without PowerPoint then FANTASTIC!

Til next time

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 

https://executivespeaking.com.au


Persuading Tough Audience – Use One of Them!

March 24th, 2008 |1 comment

We all have to communicate with tough audiences, and recently I had to persuade the toughest: my 2 year old daughter Alice.

As anyone who has had children in childcare will know, children seem to pick up every kind of cold and sniffle that is going around, then they bring them home to share with mum and dad! On Monday, Alice had bought home a head cold and by Tuesday night she had developed a nasty cough along with a very sore throat. She had become very worked up and was not wanting to cooperate with anyone. She was just sitting on Mums knee and crying uncontrollably.

To help ease her symptoms, we wanted to give her some medicine. However, in the state that she was in, she wanted nothing to do with it.

After many requests for her to take it (and the occasional attempt to force it down her throat!) we decided to give some medicine to Teddy. Teddy had no problems taking the medicine and felt much better after it. Once Alice saw this, she too wanted to take the medicine. She was asleep with in half an hour!

How does this relate to persuading tough Audience? If you are trying to persuade a hostile audience that distrusts you, use someone like the audience to show that you can help them. These are called ‘Third Party Endorsments’ or testimonials.

Why do they work? Well look at the situation from the audiences point of view. If they distrust you, anything you say will be taken as a way of simply selling your point of view so they buy. However, if you can get someone like them (the audience) to say that they have used you, this will add credibility to your message. This will give you a greater chance of persuading them to your message.

To persuade anyone, whether it is through public speaking, sending e-mails, or convincing your 2 year old daughter to take her medicine, you need to be able to appeal to their interests and needs. In the state that Alice was in, she was not convinced that the medicine would work, and was weary of trusting Mum and Dad. However, she knew that Teddy would not lie to her, and when she saw him take it, she knew it would be OK.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have been trying to persuade someone to adopt your ideas? It could happen when you are giving a speech, addressing a meeting or just wanting the family to do what you want to do on the weekend. Instead of trying to brow-beat them into submission, try appealing to what is important to them and showing them how what you propose fits in with what you are saying.

By appealing to their self interest, you will have a greater chance of them wanting to listen and eventually adopt your ideas.

Cheers

Darren Fleming


How to Make Statistics Training Interesting!

March 24th, 2008 |3 comments

I recently had the opportunity to offer some presentation coaching with a client – Trina – who spent her day delivering statistical training. Her area of speciality was ‘imputation’, which looks at how you estimate certain numbers. As you could imagine, you could make the topic very dry and boring without even trying!

As I watched Trina deliver her training, I noticed that the people in the room were actually becoming involved and excited (well OK – Just involved) in what was being presented. Granted the participants were interested in the information, but lets face it, this was the fourth day of a full week of advanced statistical training! People were bound to be tired and over it. Why were these people so interested?

At the end of the training, Trina came up to me and apologised for all the things that she did wrong, and wished that she could do better. She said this was why she needed public speaking coaching. She apologised for holding her notes while she spoke, apologised for being nervous and apologised for being genuinely excited about the topic when no-one else was. What she did not realise was that her excitement for the topic was what made her so successful at her job.

Her enthusiasm for her topic was evident from the start. She told the participants that she was genuinely excited about the statistical Normal Curve, and what could be achieved by understanding it. She told stories of how her last employer ignored the normal curve, and how it cost them dearly. She showed the participants how they could follow the rules and avoid the same dire consequences. This is what involve the audience.

It was her enthusiasm for the subject that really entertained the audience. She was excited, and happy to be training and the carried her through and the audience through what was at times very tough and tedious learning

The fact that she held her notes, was no real distraction. The audience knew it was a technical presentation, and knew there was a lot of information to be presented, and understood that it would have been difficult to present off the top of your head. I gave her a few pointers on how to reduce the number of notes. She had several pages of the notes she was using. These were primarily be PowerPoint slides she was talking to. She could have made these notes more useful to her by reducing the amount that she wrote on them. Simple bullet points instead of full sentences would have helped her.

She also would have been better do not read the slides verbatim. Many public speaking articles have been written about how to use PowerPoint properly. They all suggest that you should not read what is on the slides as it simply distracts the audience. In fact, there is some research coming out of the University of New South Wales suggesting that reading the slides at the same time as people listening to you and reading them reduces the amount that they take in. This is due to cognitive overload. Our brain can only do so much at once and if we have to listen and read the same stuff, we will not taken as much information.

So yes it is possible to make statistics interesting! If Trina could make statistics interesting, can’t you make you all topic interesting? How do you do this? Follow Trina’s example: be excited about your topic; have stories relate to your topic; & show how the stories relate to your audience.

You can get more information about stories in public speaking by following this link to Executive Speaking.

Till later,

Cheers,

Darren

If you liked this, there are more great tips on making any speech interesting at Speak Motivate and Lead.
Australian Public Speaking courses
www.executivespeaking.com.au


Making Money With Your Public Speaking Skills

March 24th, 2008 |no comments

This blog was not created to show people how to become wealthy public speakers. There are plenty of public speaking blogs out there that can do that.

However, I recently came across this piece of advice from Patricia Fripp, a San Francisco based public speaking coach. They points are great and should be spread. You can get more of Patricia Fripps insights here.

Everything in life is about marketing. Weather you are trying to sell an idea at work or your services as a speaker you need to understand what you have to offer others. Below are some points that will help.

Successful marketing means that you identify prospective clients and position yourself in the market so they choose you over your competition. When I sit down with clients who want to position their marketing, I seek the answers to four basic questions:

1. WHO IS YOUR POTENTIAL CLIENT?

Who wants to buy or could be stimulated to want to buy? Who is in a position to buy what you sell? What geographical and financial factors affect this ability? A good way to identify future clients is to listen
— really listen — to those you have now. Their comments, especially negative ones, will help you tailor both your product and your approach to other prospects.

2. WHY WILL THEY WANT TO BUY?

What emotional and physical factors will influence them? I just worked with an east coast psychiatrist who ran a practice with ten other psychiatrists and wanted to position herself. Our conversations quickly disclosed that her community was predominantly upwardly mobile professionals. Many of the women had delayed having children. Due to fertility drugs, a high percentage of families had twins, triplets, or more. We decided to focus her practice on these families, the first practice in the area to do that. How did we do this? First, we realized her potential audience was geographical, that is, in her community rather than regional, national or international. These prospects had distinctive demographics. By appealing to a unique aspect, we hit on her core group. She’s now hugely successful in her practice.

3. WHAT ANGLE SHOULD YOU TAKE? How is your product or service unique?

Why is it perfect for your target audience? How is it different from everyone else’s? How will it fulfill your core group’s needs in a way that no one else can? This is positioning yourself in the market.
(Remember how Avis advertised, “We try harder.”) As an example, when other advertising consultants do presentations, they talk about budgets, print versus TV, soft versus hard sell. I position myself by emphasizing that you start by targeting your audience, positioning your product, and creating distinctive selling propositions. Lots of mom-and-pop businesses, confronted by super stores, can’t compete or even survive unless they find a unique niche to fill.

4. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SELL IT?

We all know people with great ideas, products, and inventions. They spend a fortune developing this product, but it sits there because they have no idea what to do with it. Is there a system in place to put your product in the customers’ hands and return their money to you? Or do you need to create one?

Cheers

Darren Fleming
Australian Public Speaking courses


Arguing with Whiskey

March 17th, 2008 |no comments

Have you ever struggled with how to structure your message so you will get buy-in from your audience? If you are in a management position you will know what I mean. T0 truly get full buy-in from your audience, you need to get inside their heads and understand what they want and what they are thinking.

One of the greatest examples of understanding your audience comes from the 1933 Mississippi Lawmaker Noah ‘Soggy’ Sweat. During the debate about prohibition he was asked for his thougths on Whiskey. This is what he had to say:

If when you say whiskey you mean the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.

If when you say whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

This is my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised on matters of principle.

This is a classic example of how to structure your message to include certian parts of your audience.

The strength of this speech lies in the listeners opinion. For example, if you are against whiskey then you would love the first half of his speech. If you were for whiskey, then you would hold on to the second part of his speech. But the clever part is that the speech shows the strength of the opposing views. This helps to bring the two sides together.

How can you use this in the workplace?

If you are presenting an argument, consider the opposing sides view. This is often called playing the Devils Advocate. By understanding where you audience is positioned, you will be equipped to present an argument that they will accept and adopt.

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming – Australia’s public Speaking Coach

https://executivespeaking.com.au


Presenting in the Boardroom

February 25th, 2008 |1 comment

The most common form of public speaking and presenting occurs across the table, or in a clients Boardroom.

Presenting in the Boardroom requires a special understanding of certian unwritten rules and territorial factors.

Seating.  Before taking a seat, wait for your host to direct you. Never assume a position around the table.  When preparing, ask permission as to where you should set up, and if it is OK to set up now.  If you do need to sit down, ask if it is OK to sit in a particular seat. 

Respect the status in the room.  In some organisations there will be a very clearly defined hierarchy.  This may even include calling someone by their title such as “Mr”.  Make yourself aware of what is happening along these lines and follow suit.  In some groups, people will have clearly defined roles.  

Know your audience.  Do as much homework as possible on your audience.  Know what their hot-buttons are.  Know what they like and dislike, and tailor your presentation accordingly. 

Help them save face.  Ensure that you do not cause your host to lose face.  If you suspect that your host does not fully understand what you are saying, try re-phrasing your point another way.  If you are not sure if they understand, try something like, “Have I made that clear enough?”, as opposed to, “Do you understand what I am saying?”  This lets them feel that the reason they don’t understand is not due to them.  This is very important when dealing with Eastern Cultures.   

Be adaptable.  Be ready to bounce off what the people in the room do or say.  Being able to incorporate this into your presentation will give the impression that this is a completely unique presentation. 

Study the room dynamics.  In any group of people there will be some that are closer friends than others.  Some may even dislike each other.  If this is evident, avoid being drawn into it. 

Don’t skip slides.  If using PowerPoint, never skip a slid in front of a customer.  If you do, you will give the impression that you are hiding something from them.  If you need to tailor a presentation for a prospect, hide any unnecessary slides before you get there. 

You are there to make a sale.  Regardless of what you are presenting, you will be making a sale.  You may not be asking for an order number there and then, but if you want to have a future relationship with this audience, they will have to buy your credibility.  As in all sales situations, keep the following in mind:

  • K.I.S.S.  Keep it short and simple.  Attention spans are only getting shorter.  By getting to your point as soon as possible you will avoid wasting everyone’s time.
  • Understand what they want, and know what they need. Many people in a buying situation know what they want, but are unaware of what they really need.  Find out what their needs are, and fill them and you will have a better chance of success.
  • Use feature and benefits.  People do not buy the features of any product.  They buy the benefits those features give.  For example, people don’t buy a car with a V8 engine (feature) just because it has a big engine.  They buy a car with a V8 engine because of the power it has (benefit).  Understand the features of your product, and what benefits it brings to your client.
  • Use Questions.  A great way to understand more about your audience is to ask questions.  By asking questions, your audience will give an insight to what they really want.
  • Don’t over answer.  If you are asked a question, avoid the temptation to give a long answer that leaves no stone un-turned.  Answer as much as is needed to satisfy the person who asked the question.  If they ask more, great.  If they are asking questions, they are showing interest.
  • Leave questions to be asked.  By carefully omitting some information from your presentation you can prompt a question about it.  Some audience like to ask questions.  It lets them show that they understand what you are presenting.
  • Don’t finish with a Q&A.  Avoid finishing on with a Q&A session.  After you have dealt with all the questions, give a brief summary.  This allows you to have the last word and control what happens next.

 ‘Til next time,

Cheers

Darren Fleming


Presenting vs. Speaking

February 23rd, 2008 |no comments

Although people often speak about a PRESENTATION and a SPEECH as if they are the same thing, they are quite different. They have different goals.And they use different techniques to achieve their different goals.

The primary goal of a PRESENTATION is to communicate information or to teach people skills. When you’re giving a presentation, you are in effect a teacher or a trainer.

A PRESENTATION can be as brief as a two-minute update at a staff meeting or as long as a five-day or two-week seminar.

Status reports, briefings, training seminars, breakout sessions, product demonstrations, sales presentations, round-tables, research paper presentations, lectures, chalk talks, teleconferences, and webinars — all are PRESENTATIONS.

To improve the PRESENTATIONS you give:

* Keep them practical. Provide information or skills that will help your audience solve a problem or achieve a goal.

* Give participants a say in determining what they want to learn and how they want to learn it.

* Build on people’s experience and knowledge.

* Make your session highly interactive, with time for questions, discussion, and activities.

* Make use of all audio-visual resources available: PowerPoint slides, handouts, flip charts, white boards, video, and the like.

A SPEECH is less about imparting information and skills and more about creating a change in how your audience thinks and feels.

A SPEECH should always be brief, rarely — if ever — exceeding 50 minutes. Most speeches, especially those given by leaders, should be 20 minutes or less. (Patrick Henry’s “Give me liberty or give me death” speech lasted six minutes. The Gettysburg Address took two minutes. Roosevelt’s address to the nation after Pearl Harbor — “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” — was seven minutes.)

Toasts, acceptance speeches, keynote addresses,  commencement addresses, eulogies, tributes, after-dinner speeches, motivational and inspirational speeches, pep talks, and political speeches — all are SPEECHES.

To improve the SPEECHES you give:

* Develop one — and only one — idea. (But make it a good idea.)

* Keep it short and simple. Use a clear outline and parallel structure. Repeat yourself often.

* Use visuals aids in small doses, if at all. (Avoid using PowerPoint as much as possible.)

* Tell stories. Stories help make any speech come alive in the hearts and minds of your audience. They are the most effective tool in a speaker’s toolbox.

* Be personable. (Your relationship with the audience is paramount.)

* Appeal primarily to people’s imaginations and emotions.

These ideas are courtesy of Chris Witt from www.wittcom.com

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 

 


What are You Thinking … Before You Stand to Speak?

February 21st, 2008 |no comments

What are you thinking in the moments before you open you mouth to speak? You could be presenting at a team meeting , speaking to a client on the phone, or addressing an audience of 100+ people?

The thoughts that you have just before you go up will have a massive impact on how you perform.

Many inexperienced speakers focus on how nervous they are, and say to themselves, ‘I hope I don’t forget what I have to say’, or, ‘I hope I don’t stuff this up’. With thoughts like this in their head is it any wonder they are nervous?

When I speak in competitions – or any high-pressure environment – I adopt a different mindset. I say to myself, ‘This is what I do!’ and start to revel in the opportunity to speak. This gets me to focus on the strengths that I have and forget about my weaknesses. Granted I may like speaking more than most, but you can adopt this same attitude too.

You may not want to focus on the fact that you are speaking, but rather on the great ideas that you can share with your audience. Focus on how much better off they will be after you have spoken. Will they have an easier job , a better understanding of what is happening or renewed enthusiasm for the project they are involved in.

In the same way that an Olympic athlete focuses on their strengths before they perform, you too can focus on your strengths before you perform.

‘Til next time.

Cheers

Darren Fleming

 


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